I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
