Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
