I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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