I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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