Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
