Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
