How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
