i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
