redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
