How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
