I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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