Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
