I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
