They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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