...so i touched it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize