4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
