Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
