hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I need to sanitize my soul.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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