some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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