god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
my poor anus
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
