i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
