he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
