Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you had me at cake vodka
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
