Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
