he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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