I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
