I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
did you just send me my own nude
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
