no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
