MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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