Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
