she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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