I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize