My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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