I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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