a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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