By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
