it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is Oprah even human
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
