Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We got so high we made milksteak
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
