Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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