he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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