I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
