yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
