I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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