I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
