I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
