wat bout pragnant strippers??
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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