Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
