so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
