She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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