The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
