I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
