when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize