talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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