I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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