dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
