I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
