i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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