When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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