JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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