one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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