I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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