I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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