singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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