he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
