Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
