Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
