arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize